A Letter from the Author.

Oct 10

“And if you don’t recognize yourself, that means you’ve done it right.” - Taylor Swift

Dear Reader,

In a season of such change, I have found myself directly in view of two paths that have left me in a state of bittersweet acceptance.

“The Column” was created a little over a year ago, in an attempt to rewrite a narrative I was so desperate to correct. The space allowed me to create a persona that was stronger than I was (and more cohesive in a cherry cola aesthetic, I’d argue… you can laugh). I had a void to scream into when I felt I had spent so much time bearing the storm cloud of other people’s opinions hostage in the complete silence of defeat.

There was a point in my writing and creative development where I realized I had run out of the “I learned this the hard way” kind of pain. So what was a girl to do? At this dead end, I saw my new beginning. Which was nothing more than my present - starting to slip through my fingers, but caught just in time.

So in that moment I stopped posting altogether. It was a deep inhale to truly feel like my life was mine again in a way. To be able to step back and realize I had grown out of the box I never felt I was truly in to begin with. And that to me is the beauty of art, dabbling. Jumping into puddles and collecting the sut from each life lesson as they happen and what they look like on you. Rinsing yourself of what doesn’t stick at the end of the day. And gosh above all and less metaphorically, allowing growth even though it doesn’t look like your pinterest board. That was a big one for me.

After a deep breath, a couple of months between my hometown and paradise, and a million wedding appointments…we are so close, pinch me… something has stuck with me.

An old wives' tale dating back to the 19th century brings a tradition to weddings I have always been intrigued by.

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.”

And there it was. A box filled with all the little pieces of life I wanted to hold onto: the old, the new, the borrowed, and the blue. And in perfect coexistence. And blue is my favorite color!

And yeah, I will not be a bride forever (although I will be a wife forever, hi baby!!!), but those fragments and, arguably, the love I have been shown have softly guided me in the direction I need to take - something right in the middle.

A creative work that has room for not just who I have been, but who I am becoming. Where I can write about things I have always loved or hated and things I know nothing about, literally. Oh, and EVERYTHING else, whatever that may be!

If you have been here and supported The Column, truly, thank you. Thank you for reading the ramblings, the reflections, my crippling overthinking, and all that fell in between. Thank you for putting up with me as I have been figuring out what this space was supposed to be.

Welcome to “Something Blue”, the rebrand of my little corner of the internet for feelings old, new, borrowed, and blue.

I am so happy you’re here.

The Author,

Ava Kellner Pence